Saturday, February 21, 2009

Urban Slang for the Hip Jedi

Yo dawg, my homeboys are not the gangsta droids you're lookin for - step off!

Urban Slang for the Hip Jew

Step off \step-'of\ - to back off or retreat from a situation in order to avoid a confrontation.

Grill \gril\ - face

Chutzpah \chkoots' pah\ - nerve, gall, brazeness, audacity

Tuchus \took' us\ - rear end, butt, behind, derriere

Props to your chutzpah, dawg, but you need to step off and get out of my grill before I pop a cap in your tuchus.

My Bacon Haiku

Bacon makes it hard

to be a Jew at breakfast

No Kosher bacon


Copyright 2008 by Rivera T

You're only as old as you feel you are

This morning while I was out in service, this sister was telling me about this psychologist dude who has a book or something about a person's "eternal age." It's the age one feels they are, which can be quite different from their actual age. He said that most people stay a certain age in their head and a significant event in their life can play a part in what age that is. That being said, I turned 25(ish) again a couple of days ago. I refuse to go any higher than that - at least in this system. Maybe, if this system lasts long enough (though I really hope it doesn't) and I'm literally in my fifties, I might be ok with the term, "realy, really, really late twenties."

Thursday, February 19, 2009

My name is Tiff and...

I'm an Idolholic. Well, they say that admitting it is the first step towards recovery. Honestly, I probably wouldn't be admitting to this, but a close friend of mine today confessed to her following the show this season and that gave me the courage to admit that I, too, have a problem. I blame Mark. He had a cable guy out here a few weeks ago to fix his hi-def and in the process of fixing it, the cable guy disconnected my line. Since it's Mark's account, he has to call he guy to fix it and my procrastinating bro has yet to do it. Channel 13 is the only station I get in clearly. When Idol started, I just had the tv on for noise, but that's how it starts. Then there was this guy who looks like Robert Downey Jr., and he can really sing, and he has this sob story about lsoing his wife...next thing you know, I'm not only watching the show, but actually calling in and voting! What has become of me?!!! Is there a 12-step program I can join? Somebody organize and intervention, please! I hear that Idol is the gateway drug of bad reality tv; pretty soon I could be watching Survivor, or The Bachelor or any of those stupid pseudo-reality MTV shows that feature Lauren Conrad and company. Yikes! If I start watching Bromance, you have my permission to shoot me.

BTW - I still secretly hope that Danny Gokey wins this season. Go Danny!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

He's Just Not That Into You

OK - all of you girls out there who haven't seen this movis are probably thinking it's the ultimate chick flick and you just can't wait to see it. Conversely, all of you guys are probably thinking, "Oh no - she's gonna try and drag me to another lame chick flick. Well, fellows, check out this youtube video and you may change your mind.

My New Ride