Entiendo español, pero no entiendo español del borracho

So I was waiting for my bus this evening when a highly intoxicated Mexican fellow stumbled over to me and started speaking to me in Spanish. Although I haven't used my Spanish much since moving to Seattle 7 years ago, most of the time I can pretty much understand what someone is saying. Despite the slur, I can even usually get the gist of the conversation from someone with a thick Puerto Rican or Cuban accent. However, the one accent that totally stymies me is "Drunk Spanish." It's even worse than "I forgot to put in my dentures today Spanish." "No Dentures Spanish" is difficult, but not impossible to understand, and the guy I know who speaks it doesn't reek of cheap beer and wine. Basically, all I got out of his alcohol impaired rambling speech was that he was from Mexico, had two kids in Oaxaca and two kids in California (don't ask me why he told me that) and that he had no papers (no duh - can you say, "fishing for a greencard?"). When my bus arrives I say a farewell, only to have him follow me onto the bus and sit his drunk butt down next to me. I finally am able to get through to him that I have no money and unless he has the cash to pay the fare to West Seattle, he better get his tuchas off at the next stop. Lesson learned: Next time someone starts speaking to me in Drunk Spanish, pass myself off as a Greek. OK - that's all for now; gotta go learn me some Greek.